Letters From George 10

Another short one from the master of revenge, George Hayduke.  (Hey, when you're busy ruining people's lives for their indiscretions you don't always have time to write.)  The prank call tapes he is referring to is what would later become known as the Jerky Boys.  They weren't always called that, and they went by a couple different names.  I had sent him some copies of what I had.


Hi Doug,

Hey .. the prank call tapes are hilarious!  They made me laugh all over the place.  Great stuff.  Do you know this guy Mushacia?  Who is he?  My God, it/he is hilarious!!

George


There are a lot of people who lament the art of physically writing letters.  They say e-mails are too short and lack personality.  This letter from the author proves that just because one took the time to write a letter by hand doesn't mean it was going to be lengthy and deep.

Letters from George 9

And yet another letter from master of mayhem, sultan of sweet revenge, corporal of chaos, George Hayduke.  The one and only Bad Day Motherfucker.  This letter is short and sweet, and thanks me for sharing a story with him.


Hi Doug,

Hey, you're one creative, funny guy.  I loved your biker/buddy scam.  You can be sure that this one will be in a future book.  What penname do you want me to use for credit ... yours ... or a funny name?  You tell me.

And, yes, of course, I'd love to hear from you if you have other, funny stuff to share ... always.

Thanks again.

Cheers, George Hayduke


Yes, I did send him a anecdote about me fucking with a biker I worked with at the time.  Yes, the biker got revenge, but not on me.  Well, a little on me, but that was nothing more than screwing some company property I was using.  The other guy in on the prank didn't fare so well, and the biker's revenge consisted of flattening all four of the guy's car tires.  The only reason I can think that he did that to him and not me was he knew I was the brains behind the prank (which I admitted to once he went ballistic) and he thought if I got him that good he would pretty much have to kill me to make things even and he wasn't ready to go that route.

Ahh, the good ol' days.  Revenge was sweet and the howls of anger even sweeter.

Letters From George 9

As revenge has been on mind quite a bit as of late, I thought it was time to visit some more of the correspondence between one of the revenge masters, George Hayduke, and myself.  This letter came prior to the publication of my interview with the author, an all around good guy and a bit of a maniac.  Enjoy.


Hi Doug,

My friend, you get great fliers, you really do.  Anyway, it was [sic] doing the interview with you.  As I said, sorry I couldn't drop you a note, but I had your letter with me and just decided to call you while I was enroute home.  I sure hope the interview was useful to you.

Thanks again for the attention and the kind comments ... be glad to see what you did with your interview of me.  [At this point in the typewritten letter he drew an arrow in ink and wrote "as in send me a copy of whatever."]  And, you did a grand job.  I have had some truly silly clusterfucks from some self-styled professionals.

Take care ...

Cheers, George.


I've been told by more than one person that I conduct some great interviews.  I've interviewed everyone from various bands, to dominatrixes, to zoophiles, to flat tax proponents, to actors, to strippers.  They've all been pretty fascinating.  Hayduke was one of the more fun ones just because of our correspondence prior to the interview.  I had read almost all his books by the time I chatted with him, and if you've read any of them (like Righteous Revenge), you know how interesting an interview with him could be.  Hell, I could of done an entire interview on just his friends.

More letters later.

Letters from George 8

Here is another letter from revenge author George Hayduke.  If you haven't read any of his books like Mayhem, you need to know that while some of his revenge techniques are simply annoying, some can cause harm.  That means: Use them wisely!  George opens the letter by commenting on a tape of prank calls I sent him.


Hi Doug,

Thanks for writing and for the tape.  I will take it along on a trip I am taking soon.  I am sure it will amuse and amaze me.  And, no I don't have any prank call tapes.  Some of the radio stations around here play them once in a while.  I always thought they were commercial in nature.

Did I sent you a photo?  If you're doing an interview for publication I could send you a picture for your artist to use.  I forget if I already [did] so.  Anyway ... here is another or one ... whatever.  My mind is slipping.

The legend at the bottom of this page [Oderint, Dum, Metuant] means: Let Them Hate So Long as They Fear.  It's old German.  I'll be thrilled to see your 'zine #8.  Seriously, I will be.

Hope you had a Happy Holiday!!

Cheers, George


I did do an interview with him that I will republish someday.  As mentioned before, I have since lost touch with him.


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Letters from George 7

More letters from the Master of Revenge, George Hayduke.  I wonder how his books are selling in Wisconsin, where businesses are being boycotted for their support of the governor's 2010 campaign?  I hope they are doing well.  Without further bullshit ...


Hi Doug,

Read your latest 'zine.  I enjoyed much of it and didn't understand a great deal.  But, then, being an old fuck I didn't expect to.

My God ... I read your essy[sic]\interview with Tisa.  That's her real name?  She didn't get pissed at you for making such intimate stuff public?  WOW!  The way things are today most women would have sued what was left after cutting you every which way.  I get some nasty letters from women's groups and other PCPigs.

Looking forward to your next issue ... I am trying to wrap my book so I can head out here for a good while.  I want to go far South!!!

Cheers,
George

P.S. Yeah, both pix are me ... lottsa years + living between them.  I know author of Poor Man's James Bond ... although not well.  I think he may have died recently.


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Letters from George 6

Continuing in my series of letters from author George Hayduke, one of the masters of revenge.  For all my Wisconsin readers, you may want to read these when you target businesses that have supported Scott Walker.  (You can read a piece I did on it on my Cancerous Zeitgeist blog here.)  Hayduke is the writer of books like Get Even: The Complete Book of Dirty Tricks and Hardcore Hayduke.  Know the great thing about writing to Hayduke, reading his books and contributing to them?  Only an idiot will mess with you!  Enjoy.


Hi Doug,

Your two letters (among 675609 others) were here when I got back from fun in Mexico.  I love that country ... might move there for seven or eight months a year!!  So, I thought I'd better answer you before I go back to other work "down South."  And, you're right, you don't want to know.  Ahhh, I do have some fun times, too ... food, drink and etc. (is that legal?) No.

When I get back (three weeks) I will have my friend from the phone company tell me about the stunts (not to worry, she is a close buddy and your name will not come up ... she's a great mole for me with Ma Bell).

No, you can't order books from me.  I just write.  I keep no copies here ... and orders that people send to me I forward to Paladin.  Also, I am going to move in May.  I will keep this address and a friend will forward my mail to me.  So, anything you want, get from Paladin.  You to make letterhead for your 'Zine and write for a review copy of my new book.  It would be free that way.

Theresa's interview was fun and cute.  If folks have problems with it, UNfuck them.  Don't apologize to those humorless assholes who PC everything.  As I say, UNfuck them.  Doug... have fun and laugh a lot.  I'm sorry that Tisa didn't say them ... she appeals to me.  I like raunchy ladies with funny minds and senses of humor. 

The new book ... which I want to call THE MERCHANT OF MENACE... will come out in December.

George


Paladin, it should be noted, used to send me review books, including Hayduke's ... until the publisher decided I was too political for it.  Paladin!  The publisher of The Ancient Art of Strangulation!  I'm too political for a company that openly publishes that sort of thing?  Oddly enough, I understand that logic.  Paladin has had its share of problems with the law (go figure), so having some loudmouth anarchist review its books may not have been keeping too low a profile, if you know what I mean.

As for the Theresa (Tisa) Hayduke referenced, I'll eventually run that interview on my Published and Unpublished Works blog.  She was a raunchy lady (I lost my virginity to her and had many a fun sexual adventure with her) who was funny and had a great sense of humor.  Hayduke was spot-on with that description.

Letters from George 5

George Hayduke, King of Revenge, author of books like Mayhem and Make 'Em Pay, exchanged plenty of mail in our time.  (Should make anyone think twice before crossing me.)  Here is another letter from George.  He is referencing photos I was going to use for an interview with him I was doing. 

The government stuff he is referencing is in regard to me asking him about ways to shut down the factory where I worked.  I had had enough of management's idiocy and was set to make life hard for them.  It should be noted that the factory is now out of business.  In time, all my enemies expire.

Enjoy the letter.


Hi Doug,

Thanks for the diverse AK47 poster ... appreciated that.  Yup!!  It made me laugh.  I will send copies of [sic] my politically wimpy friends.  Sorry about the photo.  I have enclosed one ... thought I did ... must be growing truly senile.  Damn!!  I am also sending an amusing poster for you.

Use either of my pictures ... the hat and beard are current, the other one is a few years back.  Help yourself.

Yes, I would help OSHA make the workplace safe.  There are other nebbie government agencies that enjoy dicking around too ... EPA, Human Relations Commission, DEA, etc.  Textiles?  Do they hire alien workers ... foreign folks?  Might want the INS to run a green card check.  The Dept of Health might want to check things, too.  Anyway, I will see if I can help out from here, too.

Cheers,
George

Letters from George 4

Author and agent of destruction George Hayduke sent me this long (for him) letter.  He answered one of my questions about some phone scam I since don't remember, and comment on the Mushacia tapes.  You may know the tape by it's better known name of The Jerky Boys, which came out officially a few years later.  Enjoy.


Lo Dougo,

Sorry about the hipster greeting ... it happens.

Looking forward to issue #8 [of my 'zine] ... yessir.  I hope the photos I sent to you got there by now.  I did send them!

Asked a couple of pals about Mushacia ... they never heard of him or the tapes.  You're right, he/they are hilarious.  I plan to pitch an appeal in this year's book to learn who he is and why.  Is it also OK if I list you, your name and your 'zine in the book ... as a thank you?

I asked two of my resident Ma Bell folks about your free phone call question.  They said NO.  They are our folks ... not Ma Bell ... so they don't lie.  I get much of my fuck Ma Bell stuff from them.

Looked through #7.  Gotta do it again, perhaps when I'm tired or less old.  It's sort of like what I did a thousand years ago.  I think.  Let me do it again.  Perhaps being stoned will help.  It's not you, Doug, it's me.  It's just too much to assimilate in one viewing.

Thank you, amigo.

Cheers,
George


I did get a mention in his book.

Letters from George 3

This is the third in a series of letters I received from author George Hayduke, who has written many prank/revenge books.  Enjoy.


Hi Doug,

Got your card.  It's too late to change address for the book listing.  Oh well ... keep the forwarding card active.

Central America is very hot and very wet ... I am back for the year now (well, until December).  I was there on legit business.  Hey, I gotta keep my day job, there's not enough $$$ in books to keep me fat and happy.  Now if I could sell a movie or two!!!

Looking forward to C.I.P #8.  Enclosed is a funny cartoon you should like.

Cheers,
George


I don't have the cartoon anymore, and I don't believe Hayduke went on to do any movies.

Letters from George 2

Here's another letter from George Hayduke (see last post), who has probably written more books than you've read.

Dear Doug,

So, that's what a 'zine looks like.  I used to do those when I was in school ... kind of a joke for friends and as an in-house silliness for this local bar where we hung out.  Neat.  Yours is more graphic and obviously '90s.  Mine was more silly, rude and '50s.  Oh well ... interesting.  Thank you.

I also enjoyed your latest two ideas and YES, I will included them in my upcoming new books.  And, I appreciate your offer to include stuff from the 'zine.  I probably will.

All for now ... thanks again.

Cheers,
George


If I recall, he did include my prank/revenge ideas and mention the 'zine in his next book. 

Letters from George 1

If you read any of my other blogs (I have about 33 of them), you'll know I've been reprinting letters I've received from people throughout my life.  Here is the first from author and revenge king George Hayduke, author of classics like Mayhem and Make 'Em Pay.  I have been mentioned in at least one of his books, I've interviewed him, and we used to exchange quite a few letters and other things.  I have no idea if he is still alive.

I have no idea when I got this letter.  If you are a Hayduke fan, I think you'll enjoy it.  If not, there may be no reason for you to read it.

"Hi Doug, 

Tough show on your pal. You will find that you will lose friends all of the time.  That's why you'll get more cynical.  The secret is to not let it happen to you!  Oh well ...

You get a copy of STEAL THIS BOOK by contacting used book stores in your nearest city ... which is, what, Philadelphia, Wilmington, Baltimore?  There are lots of such stores and they will find copies of old and out of print books for you.  Good luck, it's a neat book and I did get to know the man in the last years of his life.

I'll try to get the commercial tape of the crank calls.  That is one funny tape!!  Sorry you had a bad time in New Orleans.  I had some good times there and some VERY funny times!! Some involved cops, firearms, bad guys, hookers, foreign agents, wet stuff, and etc.  That was when I was much younger.

All for now ... I am really anxious to see C.I.P. #8/

Cheers,
George"