Cannibals, Serial Killers and Skin Suits

Silence of the Lambs.  If you haven't seen the movie, there's a good chance you read the book.  (Hopefully you read Red Dragon, as well.  It was better.)  When the film, starring a ham-fisted Anthony Hopkins, came out, it was the film to see, and a large number of people could be found reading the book.

I'm all for people reading, and I don't care what gets them to do that.  I don't blame people for wanting to read the source material after or before seeing the film, either.  The book, as is usually the case, was far better than the movie.

I actually ended up reading the book after seeing the movie.  It just worked out that way.  Of course, when people saw me reading it, they asked if I saw the film, as if I had no idea of its existence.  Inevitably, I was almost always told that they liked the film better!

I had a friend who felt this way, and when I asked her why, she told me it was because Hopkins brought Lecter to life in a way she didn't realize could be possible.  (I didn't mind him, though I thought he overacted just a bit.)  She felt that Harris could've done more with the character, and I think other people thought so, too.  Hence, Hannibal.

Hannibal was atrocious.  I think Harris set out to write something so nasty it couldn't possibly be translated to film correctly, and he succeeded.  Mission accomplished.  In fact, I think that book is a big "fuck you" to all those people who liked the Silence of the Lambs film more than the book.  Since "fans" demanded more, he gave them what they deserved.  More of everything.  Stuff that was so over-the-top that it really seems like Harris either wrote it under protest or lost his damn mind.  The first two books were tight thrillers with Lecter being important, but in a cage.  In Hannibal he was loose, and in being so, he lost all ability to scare.

And the ending was totally unbelievable.  If you don't remember it, I won't remind you.  Ridiculous.

I really believe, though I have no proof, that the movie franchise helped destroy the books.  Red Dragon and The Silence of the Lambs stand proudly on their own.  There are better books dealing with the same subject matter, but these two are still good reads.  What came after, though, was a complete mess and a slap in the face to those who liked the first two books.  Those two following books (Hannibal Rising was the other one, and there was no way I was going to read that after Hannibal) were created solely because The Silence of the Lambs film did well.  There was no other reason for them to exist.  The story had been told, and it ended quite nicely.  All Harris did was destroy a good character to please people who read maybe three books a year.

The chances of me ever reading another Thomas Harris book?  Zero.


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Letters from George 8

Here is another letter from revenge author George Hayduke.  If you haven't read any of his books like Mayhem, you need to know that while some of his revenge techniques are simply annoying, some can cause harm.  That means: Use them wisely!  George opens the letter by commenting on a tape of prank calls I sent him.


Hi Doug,

Thanks for writing and for the tape.  I will take it along on a trip I am taking soon.  I am sure it will amuse and amaze me.  And, no I don't have any prank call tapes.  Some of the radio stations around here play them once in a while.  I always thought they were commercial in nature.

Did I sent you a photo?  If you're doing an interview for publication I could send you a picture for your artist to use.  I forget if I already [did] so.  Anyway ... here is another or one ... whatever.  My mind is slipping.

The legend at the bottom of this page [Oderint, Dum, Metuant] means: Let Them Hate So Long as They Fear.  It's old German.  I'll be thrilled to see your 'zine #8.  Seriously, I will be.

Hope you had a Happy Holiday!!

Cheers, George


I did do an interview with him that I will republish someday.  As mentioned before, I have since lost touch with him.


Mandatory FTC Disclaimer:  Clicking on the affiliate link and buying something may get me a small commission.  If you buy that book, you'll have ideas with what to do with the FTC.

Dabbling in the Occult

Colin Wilson's The Occult is something of a triumph and a failure.  Published in 1971, this tome seems like it would cover the occult in-depth.  It is, after all, a thick read. If you are like me, a large book on a subject you are interested in is akin to a panhandler finding a cache of gold nuggets in the creek.  What it signifies here, however, is something quite different.

The book itself deserves praise for its scope.  Just about everything and  

anything occult related prior to the '70s gets mentioned.  (And some get referenced even though the occult ties are kind of spurious, such as the Masons.  I've never considered them in the realm of the occult, though I could see the argument that could be made.)  Because the book covers so much, it becomes little more than an overview, though in fairness to Wilson, even an overview from him becomes interesting reading.  It works as a history of the occult.  If you already knew some of the history going in, however, you can't help but feeling a bit empty after reaching the last page.  You want more.

There are books that go into great depth on each of the subjects, groups and people that Wilson covers in this book.  (Some of them are even written by Wilson.)  So to say this is the be-all end-all of occult history books is nothing more than a lie.  It is, however, an excellent place to start for someone who knows nothing of the past occult history.  Once finished, the reader can go seek out those subjects which peaked his interest while reading Wilson's work. 

I have an interest (though not a very deep one) in people like Aleister Crowley and Rasputin.  The thought processes of these men are fascinating, as is the hold they had (and still have) on people.  As I contemplate the theories that we live in a computer generated simulation, I find myself wondering how these men fit into that theory (quite well, actually).  That says to me that Wilson's book still has a place in our world.  Granted, there may not be a fascination with the occult like there was in the '70s, but it still has a use in our lives if only to send shivers down the spines of the easily scared and to open other minds to a new way of thinking.


Mandatory FTC Disclaimer:  Clicking on one of the links will not only curse you, but since it could be an affiliate, I could earn a commission.  I did not get a copy of this book for review.  I bought it.  That's right.  I paid cold, hard cash for it.

The Right to Be Lazy: More Fun From AK Press

AK Press, enemy of stodgy, narrow-minded rightwing nutters everywhere announced some of its upcoming books a few days ago.  Good stuff is coming.  Being a Friend of AK Press, I'll be getting my mitts on these soon enough.  The rest of you have to order them.  Two of the most anticipated ones for myself are The Right to Be Lazy and Marshall Law: The Life and Times of a Baltimore Black Panther. 

The Right to Be Lazy is being released with legendary publisher Charles H. Kerr (around 125 years and still pissing people off), and features a revised edition of the original English translation.  I don't have a copy of the original book, so finding out that one was coming my way brought a smile to my face.  The bigger smile was reserved for Marshall Law, however.

The Black Panther Party fascinates me.  Armed black men giving out free breakfasts sounds like every white person's biggest nightmare.  ("Oh, God!  They're organizing!")  Doing so with a political agenda sounds like Washington's biggest nightmare.  (And those Tea Party Parrots think Obama is bad.  Imagine having a Black Panther in the White House.  Shit, I'd vote for him or her, and I don't vote for leaders.)  This look at Eddie Conway's life behind bars after being falsely imprisoned for killing a cop is going to be interesting stuff.  Attempted escapes.  Labor organizing.  Militancy.  You name it, it should be covered here. 

There are other titles, of course.  AK Press always does other titles, too.  These two stand out, though.  They take the proverbial anarchist cake.  While the rest of the population is reading Danielle Steele at the beach, I'll be reading about Conway's exploits while sticking it to The Man.

Satan Wants You

You have to admit that as far as book titles go, Satan Wants You catches your eye.  You walk by it at the bookstore and think, "He does?"  You just got to pick it up.  I know I had to.

I got this hardcover in 1988.  Mysterious Press put it out.  Before I bought it I paged through it and saw photos of Black Sabbath; Anton Lavey; Ozzy Osbourne; The Process Church of the Final Judgment; Sammy Davis, Jr.; and John Travolta.  I kid you not on the last two.

With pictures like this, it really didn't matter how well the book was written.  Author Arthur Lyons could've been a babbling idiot for all I cared.  I just had to have a book with that title featuring a picture of Sammy Davis, Jr. with Lavey.  I mean, that should be an album cover right there. 

To be honest, I thought the book would be the typical Satanism hysteria that gripped America in the late '80s thanks to heavy metal music, Geraldo and preschools built over the gaping maw of Hell.  Chapter two is titled "The Birth of Satan" while chapter twelve is "The Call to Cthulu."  Obviously the usual suspects would be at play here.

I was pleasantly surprised.

It was a critical and unbiased look at what passed as Satanism in the culture.  It put to rest the many urban legends around Satanism, and gave a fairly decent overview of the names and faces associated with it.  It was fair.  That was unheard of in the 1980s.  Having been associated with Satanism in the Poconos in the 1980s (unfairly at first, but then I played around with it as a prank on those foolish enough to think that about me), I can state firsthand that when the charge of Satanism was tossed, common sense took a vacation.  (I remember the mother of a girlfriend of mine getting a call telling her that her daughter was dating a Satanist who killed cats or some such nonsense.  I think we were eating ice cream in the kitchen when that call came in.  Everyone knows Satanists don't eat ice cream.  They eat Lunchables.)

The book tends to go for collector's prices these days.  I haven't seen a used copy in person in quite some time, either.  I think it's one of those books people tend to hold onto.  I'm not looking to part with mine anytime soon.  With the rise in conservatism and "traditional values" (whatever the hell that means) making a comeback, it seems that a Satanism scare is just around the corner.  I'll be safe knowing that Satan won't want me.  He's already got Sarah Palin.


Mandatory FTC disclaimer:  If you click on one of my affiliate links, you'll go straight to Hell.  Actually, if you click and buy the book, I'll get a commission.  I recommend checking out the links I've done, as they are kind of funny and/or educational.

Finished With The Dead

I finished reading my decidedly rare hardcover edition of Dawn of the Dead by George Romero and Susanna Sparrow.  The movie, as many of you realize, is a classic.  How well does the book hold up?  I am loathe to say this, but in this case the movie was actually better than the book.

The book stays fairly true to the movie.  To find all the differences, I'd have to back and watch the film again.  I last saw it about four years ago, but I've watched it about a dozen times.  Any differences in the book didn't seem to matter.  What did matter was that I had no emotional connection with the characters and all the social critiques of the movie which were laid out in images were laid out in the book in words (obviously), and that is where it failed.  Instead of letting readers draw their own conclusions about consumerism and zombies in the mall, as well as our protagonists actions while holed up in such a place, it spelled them out.  Black and white.  All on the page. 

I like zombie fiction probably a little less than the average zombie fan.  I find that the movies work better as the visuals are what cinch the deal for me.  Zombies are, no pun intended, too lifeless to hold my attention on the page.  The scope of their terror is lacking, but can be well-displayed on a film screen where their stages of rot take over for their personality.  For myself, zombie fiction has to have strong living characters.  Dawn of the Dead, the film version, made the living and dead equally matched in various ways.  It worked to captivate viewers like few other zombie films have.  The book version of the same story simply accentuated the flaws.  Both the zombies and living came across as flat, with the exception of Peter, whom we still never really get to know.  Usually that is a flaw of a film since a film can't go into the background like a book.  Here the book never tried to get too deep into Peter's backstory, and that was a damn shame.

Books and movies are two different mediums that do different things.  They each tell their story in their own way.  A movie done as a book doesn't work, and, as we can plainly see here, a book written as a movie leads to nothing but disappointment.


Mandatory FTC Disclaimer:  Clicking on the Dawn of the Dead affiliate link and buying the movie will earn me a commission.  You would be buying the original and not the remake, which has its own strengths, but is nowhere near as good as the classic film.  I did not provide a link to the book, and I'm sure as hell not selling mine.  I may never read it again, but when the zombie invasion comes, I can barter it for safety from all those FTC ghouls.  Also, that book was not a review copy.  It came straight from my extensive library ... now approaching 1,000 books.

What the Google Books Decision Means For Book Lovers

Nothing.  That's what it really means.  Nothing.  The decision from Judge Chin, which you can read about here, means more for Google, publishers and authors than it does for readers. 

Google, by some accounts, wants to digitize every book in the world.  Now it wants the orphan books (books where the copyright holder cannot be located) at its disposal, a move I don't think is a bad thing.  All sorts of groups and people have issues with this, however.  Microsoft has objections.  Groups are worried about privacy.  The list goes on and on, but I can't help but think, "I don't know anyone who uses Google Books."

This lack of use by people I know doesn't mean people don't use it or that it isn't important.  I do actually believe Judge Chin's ruling is important in the long run as it brings up the issue of copyrights (always important to me) and fair use.  The idea of Google scanning millions of books to make snippets available to researchers (the ones who are going to use the most) is something that should be applauded.  Google, however, has had its share of run-ins with copyright issues, so any cry of "fair use" should be met with a grain of salt.  That said, making orphaned works available for research purposes is going to open up a world of knowledge for everyone. 

I randomly looked up Anarchism: A Very Short Introduction by Colin Ward.  What I got was well within reason without, I think, violating any copyright law.  That's not to say that will be the case every time.  I can see both sides to the argument, but I have to say that in this case it appeared that Google was within the fair use doctrine.

All of this is really material for lawyers, privacy rights advocates, publishers and authors.  I fall into the author and privacy rights categories, but I am also an avid reader.  When I think of what the judge's decision means for me and other readers, I can't help but think that Google Books wasn't a part of my life before, and this doesn't change anything.  Yes, it's great that it's there if I need it, but I just don't use it.  If Google is doing this, the books will still exist (for the most part at least -- books disappear every day).  I can still buy them.  People can still buy digital copies of them.  In order to be fair, if Google were allowed to pursue the orphaned works, anyone should be able to do the same, sort of like public domain works.  As a reader, this could actually benefit me as material that is hard to find now could be more easily obtained ... but how often do I even look for this stuff?  Only when I'm doing research.

The Google Books decision is fascinating in what it means for copyright and privacy issues, but holds little for readers ... at this point.  And lest anyone think all publishers are up in arms over Google's actions, remember: This decision blocked the settlement made between Google and publishers.  Publishers were a partner in this.

Obviously not everyone thinks Google is evil.


Disclaimer to make the FTC happy:  Clicking on my affiliate link and purchasing the book will gain me a small commission.  Clicking on the link about the judge's decision will enlighten you.

Letters from George 7

More letters from the Master of Revenge, George Hayduke.  I wonder how his books are selling in Wisconsin, where businesses are being boycotted for their support of the governor's 2010 campaign?  I hope they are doing well.  Without further bullshit ...


Hi Doug,

Read your latest 'zine.  I enjoyed much of it and didn't understand a great deal.  But, then, being an old fuck I didn't expect to.

My God ... I read your essy[sic]\interview with Tisa.  That's her real name?  She didn't get pissed at you for making such intimate stuff public?  WOW!  The way things are today most women would have sued what was left after cutting you every which way.  I get some nasty letters from women's groups and other PCPigs.

Looking forward to your next issue ... I am trying to wrap my book so I can head out here for a good while.  I want to go far South!!!

Cheers,
George

P.S. Yeah, both pix are me ... lottsa years + living between them.  I know author of Poor Man's James Bond ... although not well.  I think he may have died recently.


Disclaimer: The FTC has new rules for blogs!  Yea!  We love rules! Anyway, if you click on one of my affiliate links and buy the product linked, I get a commission.  Pay no attention to the irony of me needing to mention FTC rules for links to revenge/bomb making books. 

Letters from George 6

Continuing in my series of letters from author George Hayduke, one of the masters of revenge.  For all my Wisconsin readers, you may want to read these when you target businesses that have supported Scott Walker.  (You can read a piece I did on it on my Cancerous Zeitgeist blog here.)  Hayduke is the writer of books like Get Even: The Complete Book of Dirty Tricks and Hardcore Hayduke.  Know the great thing about writing to Hayduke, reading his books and contributing to them?  Only an idiot will mess with you!  Enjoy.


Hi Doug,

Your two letters (among 675609 others) were here when I got back from fun in Mexico.  I love that country ... might move there for seven or eight months a year!!  So, I thought I'd better answer you before I go back to other work "down South."  And, you're right, you don't want to know.  Ahhh, I do have some fun times, too ... food, drink and etc. (is that legal?) No.

When I get back (three weeks) I will have my friend from the phone company tell me about the stunts (not to worry, she is a close buddy and your name will not come up ... she's a great mole for me with Ma Bell).

No, you can't order books from me.  I just write.  I keep no copies here ... and orders that people send to me I forward to Paladin.  Also, I am going to move in May.  I will keep this address and a friend will forward my mail to me.  So, anything you want, get from Paladin.  You to make letterhead for your 'Zine and write for a review copy of my new book.  It would be free that way.

Theresa's interview was fun and cute.  If folks have problems with it, UNfuck them.  Don't apologize to those humorless assholes who PC everything.  As I say, UNfuck them.  Doug... have fun and laugh a lot.  I'm sorry that Tisa didn't say them ... she appeals to me.  I like raunchy ladies with funny minds and senses of humor. 

The new book ... which I want to call THE MERCHANT OF MENACE... will come out in December.

George


Paladin, it should be noted, used to send me review books, including Hayduke's ... until the publisher decided I was too political for it.  Paladin!  The publisher of The Ancient Art of Strangulation!  I'm too political for a company that openly publishes that sort of thing?  Oddly enough, I understand that logic.  Paladin has had its share of problems with the law (go figure), so having some loudmouth anarchist review its books may not have been keeping too low a profile, if you know what I mean.

As for the Theresa (Tisa) Hayduke referenced, I'll eventually run that interview on my Published and Unpublished Works blog.  She was a raunchy lady (I lost my virginity to her and had many a fun sexual adventure with her) who was funny and had a great sense of humor.  Hayduke was spot-on with that description.

The Kindle Problem

As many of you know, I recently posted a short story to the Kindle.  It's not my first short story ever written (I've been at this game over 20 years).  Nor is it my first piece available to the public.  That said, it still feels ... weird.

I originally wrote the story, Melinda, with the intent on getting it published in a magazine or on a site that actually pays for pieces.  It's a horror story, so that limits the audience, and then there's the whole thing about getting paid.  Anyone who has written for a magazine knows that it can take months before you see a check.  (In the case of UFO Magazine it took about a year or so.)  That's when I started to look into the Kindle.

I don't own a Kindle.  I'm not into eReaders.  Publishing to it, however, was a different ballgame.  The royalties were amazing, and I retain the important rights.  I can yank the story at any time and try to get it published elsewhere.  The only question remaining was: Why not do it?

Because I don't have a Kindle and don't like eReaders.  It seems fair enough.  Why write for a medium I don't use?  In the end it came down to wanting to eliminate the middleman and wanting the piece available to the public.  I wrote it so people would read it, and publishing to Kindle let's people read it.  In fact, I liked the experience so much that I'll be posting more.  (Whether or not anyone buys it is another story all together.)

I still don't want a Kindle, but the idea that a short story is out there that I would have had to shop around, wait for answer, wait for payment on, and get less than I could possibly get through Kindle is rather unappealing to me at this point.  With a magazine, I get a flat check.  It doesn't matter how many copies sell.  That can be good and bad, but with Kindle, it's all about what sells.  I posted the story for .99.  A steal, really.  A disposable price.  It's not that I value the story so little, it's that I think that is the price it will move at.  When I post a novel, I'll go higher up on the price tier, but I still won't go too high.  I want people to read it.  I want them to enjoy it.  The easiest way to do that is by controlling the price ... and Kindle lets me do that, too.  When I wrote my poker book, my publisher overpriced it (it still sells, however), and I think that killed sales.  With Kindle, I have no such problem.

The story is out there.  Read it if you'd like.  Ignore it if you will.  It is there regardless.  And soon there will be more.  It wasn't an easy decision, but I'm sure it was a smart one.

The Next Stephen King Book

Publishers Weekly reported yesterday that the next Stephen King book will be titled 11/22/63.  Those who recognize the date will remember that this is when John F. Kennedy found himself on the business end of a bullet, and that is what the novel (at around 1,000 pages) is about.  A man goes back in time to prevent the assassination of one of America's most beloved presidents.

Being a King fan, though one who admits his latest works are not always the best, and a fan of political assassinations, one would think I've got mixed feelings on this one.  The way I see it, though, a good story is a good story and with King behind the wheel this will be pretty interesting at the very least.  People can say what they want about King, but he sells books and knows how to tell a story.  Only one of those is really important for the art of writing, however.

King is no stranger to epics.  It and The Stand are both literary workouts, as is Insomnia.  While It started to lose my interest toward the end, the other books worked and I think part of that had to do with their length.  King writes characters you care about, and if you only get 400 pages, it's fine, but you usually end up wanting much, much more.  11/22/63 seems like it could deliver.

The book is set to be released 11/8/11.  I think the obvious date should've been used, but the beginning of November works out just as well.  Will it be any good?  I have no clue.  I most likely won't be getting a review copy.  I will be buying it at some point, however, and not on an eReader.  I want to hold that one.  And I'm sure I won't be the only one.

Dead With Envy

What's pretty damn rare and has George Romero's name on the cover?  The hardcover Dawn of the Dead book.  I bought my copy around 1980, I believe.  Never even cracked it open until this week.  (I also have a paperback copy of Night of the Living Dead which I have yet to read.) 

When I moved to CA I actually feared this book was lost, and never having ever seen another copy for sale anywhere, I pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I would never get to read it.  As to why I never read it when I bought it, that I can't speak to.  I have plenty of books I haven't gotten around to yet.  Those fears were put to rest, however, when I received a shipment of my stuff that had been in storage back East, and this was on it.  Oh joyous day.

I'm not very far into the book yet, but the opening chapters which detail the chaos surrounding the television station (if you remember the movie, you remember that opening scene quite well) and projects is done remarkably well and adds a lot of light to the characters in Romero's classic film. 

George Romero's name, obviously, is the draw on the cover, but he co-wrote the book with Susanna Sparrow.  Honestly, I can see Sparrow being the one who did most of the work based off Romero's ideas.  I haven't delved into a history of the book, but I'd be surprised if it were the opposite way around.  The book is too tightly focused to be from the mind of a director.

It's too early to tell if the book will hold up as well as the movie does.  I can say that at the time it was written (1978), zombies were not all the rage and I don't think they were all that used in horror fiction.  Romero, as is well documented, changed the way our culture views these walking undead.  Countless people have taken inspiration from him and his creations.  The book can't take that credit, but so far it's turning out to be one hell of a read.

(And for all you horror fans eager to get your hands on this -- no, I'm not selling my copy.)

Pie, Pie My Darling

I've been reading Pie Any Means Necessary: The Biotic Baking Brigade Cookbook which I got through my Friends of AK Press deal.  Despite the title, this is not a cookbook, it's a history book and activist guideline for how to cut people down to size with a well-timed pie to the face.  As someone who has spent almost his entire life pranking people, I appreciate it as those in power deserve to be pied every once in a while.  (The fact is, many of them need something even more extreme as the decisions they make often effect people's lives in negative ways and I'm a firm believer in an eye for an eye.)

Politicians, newscasters, actors -- nobody is immune from these antics.  To read the first-hand accounts of the pie tossers and how they get by security is nothing short of amazing.  Reading the reasons why they do it makes me think their targets should be thankful they came armed only with pies and an agenda and not a Luger.  From what I see, the people pied deserve it.  When you press for clearcutting forests or want states to be get rid of libraries and give those tax dollars to businesses instead, a face full of cream is about the best you can wish for.

The Middle East right now is a victim of threat by example.  Egypt set the example.  Other people have caught the fever and have started protesting, marching through the streets with fists raised.  In a sense, they have the same spirit as people like the Biotic Baking Brigade.  Their actions aren't as directed, but the desire to show those in power that their time has come is the same.  Reading this book (which I have not yet finished), is a good reminder of the importance of protest and pranks.  They can cause change, and if they don't, they still make you feel better.  You can either complain about your leaders or oust them.  Remember: if the only way an leader can justify itself (be it human or an agency of humans) is by force, it is no real leader and deserves to be dismantled.  Just because someone or something has a title doesn't mean it deserves it.  What it does deserve is a pie smack dab in its face.

A word of warning, though.  As I was reading the book I came across this disturbing essay title: Menstrual Pies!  Just seeing the title reminded me of a video I saw a few years ago, and the stomach churning feeling I got from it.  The essay is not what it seems, so I would not skip over it if you are reading the book, and nor would I put the book back on the shelf if you are thumbing through it at your local bookseller. 

If  you're in Wisconsin today, you know how nice it would feel to lob one of those pies at your union-hating Republican servants.  If you're in Libya, you may want a pie but probably need bullets.  Either way, the spirit of freedom and fairness is alive and well.  It is up to those who want such things to take them.  Your leaders won't give them to you, they must be snatched away from them.  This book reminds you that such a thing is possible.  Nobody is safe, and there are no exemptions.  It's a bit refreshing, quite honestly, like a an custard pie to face.

Borders

Eureka, California's Bayshore Mall has a Borders.  It's one of the mall's anchor stores.  Fifteen hours ago the Wall Street Journal reported that a bankruptcy filing could come within days.  It is predicted that many stores will close soon with more to follow later. 

I'm a fan of bookstores both franchise and independently owned.  The idea of any of them going under gives me a slight sense of dread.  Besides the lost jobs, there is the fact that for many these large chains are the only places to buy books.  Sure, you can get them at Target or Wal-Mart, but try finding a copy of Cannibal Killers there.  You won't.  The Borders disaster is just one more nail in the coffin, though I doubt physical books will disappear in my lifetime.  Access to them, however, will be harder to come by.

Many, but not all, independent bookstore owners are excited about the prospect of Borders going under.  The truth is, however, that bookstores both large and small act as feeder stores for the the other.  If you can't find what you are looking for in one store, you go to the other ... and usually end up seeing something else you want, too.  What the independents do better, though, is know their audience.  Borders tried to be all things to everyone (coffee!  CDs!  DVDs!), while the independents focused on books.  It's a good business plan, as I'm sure Borders is now kicking itself over.

If Borders goes out of business it won't save independent bookstores from themselves.  Instead, it will probably fuel online sales at places like Amazon.  The people who shop only at Borders and not their local independent bookstore do so for a reason.  Borders' closing will most likely only serve to drive those consumers online, and the independent bookstore will never see their business.

I'm usually very excited when a large franchise goes out of business.  (My fingers are still crossed over Blockbuster.)  Bookstores are the exception to that.  I have my complaints about Borders, but they are minor compared to the loss to the Eureka book-loving community.  We still would have plenty of local stores to shop at (many of them specialize strictly in used books, however), but when it comes to books, choice should be the rule and not the exception.  Large franchises and independents operating together offers that.  Take either away from the equation and the real loss is felt at the consumer level.

Letters from George 5

George Hayduke, King of Revenge, author of books like Mayhem and Make 'Em Pay, exchanged plenty of mail in our time.  (Should make anyone think twice before crossing me.)  Here is another letter from George.  He is referencing photos I was going to use for an interview with him I was doing. 

The government stuff he is referencing is in regard to me asking him about ways to shut down the factory where I worked.  I had had enough of management's idiocy and was set to make life hard for them.  It should be noted that the factory is now out of business.  In time, all my enemies expire.

Enjoy the letter.


Hi Doug,

Thanks for the diverse AK47 poster ... appreciated that.  Yup!!  It made me laugh.  I will send copies of [sic] my politically wimpy friends.  Sorry about the photo.  I have enclosed one ... thought I did ... must be growing truly senile.  Damn!!  I am also sending an amusing poster for you.

Use either of my pictures ... the hat and beard are current, the other one is a few years back.  Help yourself.

Yes, I would help OSHA make the workplace safe.  There are other nebbie government agencies that enjoy dicking around too ... EPA, Human Relations Commission, DEA, etc.  Textiles?  Do they hire alien workers ... foreign folks?  Might want the INS to run a green card check.  The Dept of Health might want to check things, too.  Anyway, I will see if I can help out from here, too.

Cheers,
George

Letters from George 4

Author and agent of destruction George Hayduke sent me this long (for him) letter.  He answered one of my questions about some phone scam I since don't remember, and comment on the Mushacia tapes.  You may know the tape by it's better known name of The Jerky Boys, which came out officially a few years later.  Enjoy.


Lo Dougo,

Sorry about the hipster greeting ... it happens.

Looking forward to issue #8 [of my 'zine] ... yessir.  I hope the photos I sent to you got there by now.  I did send them!

Asked a couple of pals about Mushacia ... they never heard of him or the tapes.  You're right, he/they are hilarious.  I plan to pitch an appeal in this year's book to learn who he is and why.  Is it also OK if I list you, your name and your 'zine in the book ... as a thank you?

I asked two of my resident Ma Bell folks about your free phone call question.  They said NO.  They are our folks ... not Ma Bell ... so they don't lie.  I get much of my fuck Ma Bell stuff from them.

Looked through #7.  Gotta do it again, perhaps when I'm tired or less old.  It's sort of like what I did a thousand years ago.  I think.  Let me do it again.  Perhaps being stoned will help.  It's not you, Doug, it's me.  It's just too much to assimilate in one viewing.

Thank you, amigo.

Cheers,
George


I did get a mention in his book.

Letters from George 3

This is the third in a series of letters I received from author George Hayduke, who has written many prank/revenge books.  Enjoy.


Hi Doug,

Got your card.  It's too late to change address for the book listing.  Oh well ... keep the forwarding card active.

Central America is very hot and very wet ... I am back for the year now (well, until December).  I was there on legit business.  Hey, I gotta keep my day job, there's not enough $$$ in books to keep me fat and happy.  Now if I could sell a movie or two!!!

Looking forward to C.I.P #8.  Enclosed is a funny cartoon you should like.

Cheers,
George


I don't have the cartoon anymore, and I don't believe Hayduke went on to do any movies.

Letters from George 2

Here's another letter from George Hayduke (see last post), who has probably written more books than you've read.

Dear Doug,

So, that's what a 'zine looks like.  I used to do those when I was in school ... kind of a joke for friends and as an in-house silliness for this local bar where we hung out.  Neat.  Yours is more graphic and obviously '90s.  Mine was more silly, rude and '50s.  Oh well ... interesting.  Thank you.

I also enjoyed your latest two ideas and YES, I will included them in my upcoming new books.  And, I appreciate your offer to include stuff from the 'zine.  I probably will.

All for now ... thanks again.

Cheers,
George


If I recall, he did include my prank/revenge ideas and mention the 'zine in his next book. 

Letters from George 1

If you read any of my other blogs (I have about 33 of them), you'll know I've been reprinting letters I've received from people throughout my life.  Here is the first from author and revenge king George Hayduke, author of classics like Mayhem and Make 'Em Pay.  I have been mentioned in at least one of his books, I've interviewed him, and we used to exchange quite a few letters and other things.  I have no idea if he is still alive.

I have no idea when I got this letter.  If you are a Hayduke fan, I think you'll enjoy it.  If not, there may be no reason for you to read it.

"Hi Doug, 

Tough show on your pal. You will find that you will lose friends all of the time.  That's why you'll get more cynical.  The secret is to not let it happen to you!  Oh well ...

You get a copy of STEAL THIS BOOK by contacting used book stores in your nearest city ... which is, what, Philadelphia, Wilmington, Baltimore?  There are lots of such stores and they will find copies of old and out of print books for you.  Good luck, it's a neat book and I did get to know the man in the last years of his life.

I'll try to get the commercial tape of the crank calls.  That is one funny tape!!  Sorry you had a bad time in New Orleans.  I had some good times there and some VERY funny times!! Some involved cops, firearms, bad guys, hookers, foreign agents, wet stuff, and etc.  That was when I was much younger.

All for now ... I am really anxious to see C.I.P. #8/

Cheers,
George"

Celebrity Worship

Yes, I am a fan of Kevin Smith.  There are things I don't like about him, though, and both are in full effect with his Silent Bob Speaks.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the book.  I enjoyed the celebrity slams.  I did not, however, enjoy the celebrity worship (Tom Cruise) and masturbation over Jersey Girl.  (In all fairness, I did not see the movie.  It could be a good film.  It could be a great film.  It did not look like a film I would be interested in, however, so I didn't bother.  While I like Smith, I don't partake in everything he does.)

If you like comic books, the story of Kevin Smith always came across as, "One of us has made good."  Throughout his career he's come across as nice guy with whom you could sit and have a great conversation with.  He cares deeply about his friends, and hasn't seemed to let Hollywood get to his head ... too much.  (I'll never forgive him for the Daredevil/Bullseye disaster, but nor will I let that cloud his future or past work.)

His book was fairly light reading.  It was often funny.  Sometimes touching.  It wasn't an intellectual read.  It's not something that is going to change anyone's life.  It is read, digested and forgotten.  Worth the price?  Yes.  Worth the time?  No question.  Worth a reread?  Probably not. 

Not every book can be as deep as The Spanish Anarchists.  Not every book is meant to be.  Smith doesn't present himself as anything other than what he is: a guy who makes movies, writes comics and tells tales.  He's less guarded than many people in his position (but he's also no open vault), and that makes him refreshing to read.  I actually wished he burned more bridges, but it's his career versus my curiosity, and his career should win every time.

If you're a Smith fan, you probably already read this book.  If you aren't a Smith fan, this will change nothing, and I would actually advise you to stay away from it.  There's a reason you don't like the guy, and this book will confirm every one of those dislikes you have. 

Say what you'd like about the man, but he's far more entertaining that ninety percent of the other directors out there.

Unexpected Surprise in the Most Unlikely of Places

The horror anthology Fears came out in 1983.  At that time I bought every horror book I could get my hands on.  This book was one of those acquisitions.

I loved it.  There were some excellent short stories in there.  The cover, understated and powerful, left me unprepared for just how good the book was going to be.  When yo have a roster that includes the likes of Chelsea Quinn Yarbro, Dennis Etchison, Joe R. Lansdale and George R. R. Martin you can't really go wrong. 

I loved the book, but when I moved to CA it was one of the ones I chose to leave behind.  Over the years I have thought about it.  I haven't really gone seeking it out because I have a lot of books I haven't read.  Why delve into a book I've read before when I have a stack of unopened potential treasures?

All that changed when one day I walked into the break room at my job and there it was, sitting on the table all alone, in a spot where people usually leave their unwanted books for others to pick up.  I could not believe my eyes or my luck.  Usually the books that were left behind were thrillers, romances, books on animal care, or spiritual stuff.  This was unexpected and, quite honestly, shocking.

I grabbed it.

I grabbed it, but also felt guilty about it.  Who would leave such a treasure.  I asked around, and someone finally said they had done it.  I asked if they had meant to leave it, and she confirmed that she did.  I was not going to argue.  This was a much better find than The Love Explosion.  (Though not nearly as funny.)

I imagine my original copy will someday show up in a package of stuff my mother has cleared out of storage.  I'll compare conditions and then make a decision on which to keep.  Until that day comes, however, I'm not letting this one out of my sight again.

On Stephen King ...

Stephen King is rarely ever mentioned as "literature."  If anything, some critics seem to take his popularity as a sign that he is a lightweight.  Perhaps these criticisms are on the mark.  Perhaps they are the shadows of jealousy or disdain.  The two things that are hard to make an argument against is that his books sell, and they are fun to read.

King got me into writing with The Shining.  I was nine when I read it, and it scared the living shit out of me.  It also made me want to do the same thing to others.  Influential?  Yes, but if you read any of me fiction you'll be hard pressed to see those influences. 

My favorite King work (and I'll admit to not having read everything the man has ever produced) is Christine.  There is something about that story that strikes me as a perfect horror tale that is slightly experimental -- especially for King.  It will probably never be held in the same light as The Stand, but I think it is one of his best. 

Right now I'm reading the first part of The Green Mile.  I actually started buying this book in the serial format and then stopped for some odd reason, so I don't have all of them (they are fairly easy to find, so I'm not worried).  I'm enjoying it, but I'm not all very far into it.  From what I can see, it has the usual King hallmarks, and while that's not a bad thing, it is part of the problem with his work.

King has a habit of presenting many of the same types of characters over and over.  All with their own little quirks.  This irritates a lot of people ... including me sometimes.  Life, however, is a lot like that.  You encounter many of the same types of people day in and day out, each with their unique character features, which is often the only way to tell them apart from one another.  King is mirroring reality, but people don't read King's work to take in a dose of the outside world.  They read it to escape it, and therefore their criticisms may be sound.

The older I got, the more I appreciated his non-fiction work.  Reading his takes on writing is an endless source of fascination for me.  I find that a lot of what writes about makes sense, and it captures some of that magic I feel as I'm engrossed in my own manuscripts.  I think he easily conveys those moments to non-writers in a way few others have.  When he writes about it, it comes across as if he were having a conversation with you, and that immediately puts you at ease. 

I don't read much fiction these days.  When I do, it's rarely King.  It's not because I don't want to.  Instead it's because I have read most of his stuff.  When I do pick up one of his books (about once a year), I'm reminded of why he made me want to be a writer in the first place.  It's a comfortable feeling, and one I hope never changes.  Someday he'll give up the words, but I have no doubt his work will be available for quite some time to come.

Treasure Found

Look at the cover of this book, The Little People.  How could you not want it?  I sure as hell did, and I spent years looking for it.  A gnome wearing swastikas and wielding a bullwhip?  You know that's gonna be good.

A few years ago I attended a large sale put on by a museum.  It was selling off things people donated and items the museum had no use for.  I came across a large box of books.  There were some UFO books in it, a slew of The Planet of the Apes books (which I sold for eBay and made quite a bit on, and The Little People. 

I paid fifty cents for the book.  I would've paid fifty dollars.

Oddly enough, I have yet to read it.  It sits on my shelf in the horror section, much like the Ark rests amongst the crates at the end of The Raiders of the Lost Ark, a treasure to never be seen.  I'll read it someday, but I really wanted it for that cover.  I wanted to know it really existed and wasn't a figment of some delusional person's imagination (including my own). 

I don't know if such a cover could exist today.  The horror market is saturated with good-looking vampires who act politely.  A swastika would be seen by many as an act of war.  Therefore, this book will stay in my collection until forcibly removed, as I'd hate to lose it to some asshole who donates it to a museum.  Things such as this should never be lost to the dustbin of history.

Monster: The American Psycho Story

"Oh, you're reading that?" is the answer I response I got when a lady asked what I was reading.  I was working in the Eureka, CA Pleasure Center, and she had stepped in to buy who knows what (probably a Pocket Rocket).  She asked what I was reading, and I held up the cover for her to see.  It took a moment because, as you can see here, the title is kind of broken up, and Ellis' name is the same size and in the same font as the title.

Her reaction to my reading of American Psycho told me two things: she had heard of the book and she had never read it.  Yes it is a nasty affair full of sordid images and dastardly deeds.  It is not, however, a full-on misogynistic how-to manual for dealing with women.  The look on her face told me she believed otherwise.

What she, and many others missed, is that like Fight Club, American Psycho isn't primarily about the violence.  It is about consumer culture and what it does to us.  Ellis' yuppie serial killer cannibal Patrick Bateman has all those things that are supposed to make us "happy."  Money.  Women.  Expensive toys.  A good job that he doesn't even need.  Yet he feels isolated and wants nothing more than to fit in.  Towards the end of the book he is losing touch with reality at such an alarming rate that readers can't even tell if the crimes he committed are real (again, much like Fight Club).  It's not a novel about killing women.  It's a novel about culture killing us.

Despite that, controversy lives on.  Some countries only allow it to be sold if it is shrink-wrapped, and only then if you are 18 or older.  (Hell, I want teens to read this.  By the time they reach adulthood the sticky rapist hands of consumer culture are already firmly around their throats.)  Some continue to say Ellis hates women.  I think a far more simple truth, and one that is more disturbing, is that Ellis, when writing this, hated himself and what he was becoming.  He has alluded to that in interviews.  If we accept that answer, though, we have to start seeing all those trappings in ourselves, and that is a very uncomfortable position to be in.  Does that make us just as insane as Bateman?  No.  Bateman is exaggerated for effect.  It does make us understand him better, though, and that is one thing people really hate doing -- understanding the monster.  Once you understand them a bit better, you stop hating them as much.

Bateman wanted to relate to people, but had no idea how to do it, and he ended up killing them (maybe) and doing all sorts of awful tortures.  By destroying them, he was destroying the things he hated about himself in an effort to finally get to that oft-praised plane of self-actualization that is essential to personal happiness.  He was too ill-suited to reach that, however, and went mad (or was mad the entire time).

The end result is not an attack on women but an attack on our current value system.  It's no wonder certain people ignored that and went for the obvious.  We have become so attached to this thing called consumer culture that we can't even recognize valid criticisms of it.  Or we are scared that by recognizing them we question our own existence.  Either way, the attacks on Ellis' work were unwarranted and misguided at best.  At worst they were hypocritical and juvenile.  Peter Sotos he ain't.