Panic! At the Publisher

If you were a reader between 1975 and 2006 and were into things like fake IDs, conspiracies, drugs, weapons, and overthrowing the system by any means necessary, then you were aware of a publisher called Loompanics Unlimited.

Loompanics was like the crazy cousin of Paladin Press, which actually acquired some of Loompanics’ titles when the company went out of business in 2006.  Paladin always had a very serious air about it.  (That company, which published many books on how to kill people, stopped sending me books to review  for my ‘zine because my ‘zine was too radical.  Picture that for a second.  The company that published Put Him Out! – The Combative Use of Improvised Weapons called my ‘zine too radical.  If you are interested, you can get the DVD version of that book here.)  Loompanics’ works were just more fun.

Loompanics published books like Dirty Tricks Cops Use: And Why They Use Them, Techniques of Burglar Alarm Bypassing, Practical LSD Manufacture and The Construction & Operation of Clandestine Drug Laboratories.  Don’t they sound like a good time?  Yes!  Of course they do!

I own more than a few of Loompanics’ odes to personal freedom.  They are equal parts amusing, thrilling and terrifying.  Back before the Internet taught every jackass how to make a bomb, Loompanics was one of the few places one could turn to … and then you actually had to crack open a book.  You couldn’t just watch a Youtube video.  You had to use things like bookmarks and such.  It was a crazy time, kids.

I miss the publisher.  I mean, Paladin is fine, but its crowd is so survivalist that you can’t help but think of militias, Christianity and vague interpretations of the Constitution.  Loompanics’ crowd was the Yuppies and the chaos mongers.  Paladin’s crowd flies a Don’t Tread on Me flag.  The Loompanics bunch burned flags.  There is a distinction.

There was a time Google and Amazon wouldn’t let Loompanics advertise its goods on their sites.  The books violated their policies.  We all know what barometers of morality those two companies are, but their refusal did shed light on a problem Loompanics had – people were afraid of it.  They weren’t afraid Loompanics would topple the publishing industry, however.  They were afraid of what Loompanics was publishing.  The books themselves were dangerous.  (Yes, the FBI looked into the company.  Luckily, the Feds’ interpretation of the Constitution is not vague.)

Google and Amazon are still here, as is Paladin.  None of them, however, are half as fun as Loompanics used to be.  After all, what other publisher could set you up to be tweaking on homemade meth while carrying a fake ID when you firebombed a bank with personally made explosives?  None … at least not while making you smile.

Suck on This, Politicians!

 Paladin Press is a favorite of mine.  Yes, much of its output verges on paranoia, but among all the books on how to murder someone (and easily get away with it!) are some real gems.  Henceforth I present Politics & Dirty Tricks: A Guide to Screwing Up the System by V.R. Farb and published way back in 1995.  Its lessons remain pertinent today, and you can apply them to your every day life, such as revenge against a boss or a cop who has done you wrong.  Revenge isn't only fun; it's healthy!

The book, which I received to review back when it was first published and have held onto it ever since, is a mere 90 pages.  Those 90 pages plant some great seeds, though.  Not much of it was new to me, but the average reader is going to put it down and immediately figure out about eight things they can do to the person they want to act as karma on.  Political sabotage just ain't for Republicans anymore.

Tampering with schedules, causing IRS stings and turning press conferences upside down are all covered within this book's pages, as well as actual tales of what happened when these methods were used.  Some worked.  Some backfired.  There are lessons to be learned from both, however.  And while all of it is geared toward ruining a politican (something that seems incredibly easy to do), the astute student can easily see how to manipulate these ideas in order to turn them against one's own enemies.  After all, upon reading about how you can cause a political campaign to lose thousands of dollars through very little effort, it takes but a second to turn those same strategies against your average joe.

Granted, a lot of the things covered in this book are ... illegal.  Despite the illegality, it's extremely hard to get caught doing a lot of this stuff.  Simple fact, plain and true.  The bigger something is, the harder it is to trace the monkeywrench that derailed it.  And then there's the fact that the things in here that aren't illegal are still highly effective.

Election season is coming.  There are stealth candidates doing their usual run to take over school boards and city councils.  If you don't like them, you can do more than vote against them.  You can send them back to the rock they came out from under.  It's easy, fun, and usually fairly affordable.  Have fun with it.  Make it a family project.  Just don't forget, though, that what can be used against your enemy politician can also be used against the candidate you like.  If you're like me, however, you'll realize they're usually different piles of the same shit, so what is good for the goose is definitely good for the gander.  Happy subverting!


Mandatory FTC Disclaimer: Yep, I got this book to review.  Clicking on a link may earn me a commission, and who knows?  Maybe you'll get on a list, too.

Letters from George 6

Continuing in my series of letters from author George Hayduke, one of the masters of revenge.  For all my Wisconsin readers, you may want to read these when you target businesses that have supported Scott Walker.  (You can read a piece I did on it on my Cancerous Zeitgeist blog here.)  Hayduke is the writer of books like Get Even: The Complete Book of Dirty Tricks and Hardcore Hayduke.  Know the great thing about writing to Hayduke, reading his books and contributing to them?  Only an idiot will mess with you!  Enjoy.


Hi Doug,

Your two letters (among 675609 others) were here when I got back from fun in Mexico.  I love that country ... might move there for seven or eight months a year!!  So, I thought I'd better answer you before I go back to other work "down South."  And, you're right, you don't want to know.  Ahhh, I do have some fun times, too ... food, drink and etc. (is that legal?) No.

When I get back (three weeks) I will have my friend from the phone company tell me about the stunts (not to worry, she is a close buddy and your name will not come up ... she's a great mole for me with Ma Bell).

No, you can't order books from me.  I just write.  I keep no copies here ... and orders that people send to me I forward to Paladin.  Also, I am going to move in May.  I will keep this address and a friend will forward my mail to me.  So, anything you want, get from Paladin.  You to make letterhead for your 'Zine and write for a review copy of my new book.  It would be free that way.

Theresa's interview was fun and cute.  If folks have problems with it, UNfuck them.  Don't apologize to those humorless assholes who PC everything.  As I say, UNfuck them.  Doug... have fun and laugh a lot.  I'm sorry that Tisa didn't say them ... she appeals to me.  I like raunchy ladies with funny minds and senses of humor. 

The new book ... which I want to call THE MERCHANT OF MENACE... will come out in December.

George


Paladin, it should be noted, used to send me review books, including Hayduke's ... until the publisher decided I was too political for it.  Paladin!  The publisher of The Ancient Art of Strangulation!  I'm too political for a company that openly publishes that sort of thing?  Oddly enough, I understand that logic.  Paladin has had its share of problems with the law (go figure), so having some loudmouth anarchist review its books may not have been keeping too low a profile, if you know what I mean.

As for the Theresa (Tisa) Hayduke referenced, I'll eventually run that interview on my Published and Unpublished Works blog.  She was a raunchy lady (I lost my virginity to her and had many a fun sexual adventure with her) who was funny and had a great sense of humor.  Hayduke was spot-on with that description.

Book Review Up On My Other Blog

My other blog, Published and Unpublished Works, is where I reprint or link a lot of my (duh) published and unpublished pieces. It's obviously a work in progress.

Today a posted a piss-poor book review I did back in 1995 for Da Qiang Ji. You can read the review here, if so inclined. The book was published by Paladin Press (link in my links section of this blog). Here's an interesting footnote to all this.

I published this review in a 'zine I was doing at the time, Married Punks. Paladin was happy to supply us with books to review (and I welcome any publisher that wants to see its books reviewed here to contact me) until one day they cut us off. The reason? We were too extreme politically. Go figure.